"I remember a time when Christmasses were simpler. When I had one boyfriend, instead of five.
I don't know how it happened. I guess it started in my last year of college. There I was, minding my own business and tending to my Peace Lily, when all of a sudden my new roommate walked in, looking less like a roommate and more like a snack.
We were going out for a few months, before I met a guy who worked behind the bar at the Student Union. He was passionate about flaring, and insisted that he made elderflower and gin 'trendy'. Then there was the guy who worked at the library. One word: *drool*. And of course, the hottie from my Advanced Botany class - he let me trace his technical drawings of a Phallus impudicus, and I was hooked.
The only thing is, I have to refer to them by the plants they most remind me of. I'm terrible with names, you see, but plants are a different story. Luckily, they think I've given them cute little nicknames, so I'm not in trouble. I'm just hoping none of them run into the guy who dressed up as Father Christmas in this year's panto. I've dubbed him 'Poinsettia', for obvious reasons."
Buy the I'd Remember hoodie here.